Kolbe's Mission Blog, CIC Post #2
I came to Christ in the City with many of my own stereotypes about homelessness. When I left home, I could only think of our friends on the streets, or the homeless, as people who were anything but civil, approachable, or relatable: they might be unkempt, mentally ill, addicted to drugs, completely unworthy of trust, and hateful of missionaries. I didn’t even know if I could enjoy Christ in the City’s mission to know, love, and serve the poor. After a month being here, my views have changed irreversibly and I want to share with you a little of what my experience at Christ in the City has been like.
I came to Christ in the City with many of my own stereotypes about homelessness. When I left home, I could only think of our friends on the streets, or the homeless, as people who were anything but civil, approachable, or relatable: they might be unkempt, mentally ill, addicted to drugs, completely unworthy of trust, and hateful of missionaries. I didn’t even know if I could enjoy Christ in the City’s mission to know, love, and serve the poor. After a month being here, my views have changed irreversibly and I want to share with you a little of what my experience at Christ in the City has been like.
The first few days at CIC were full of preparations: lectures to train us through different situations on the streets (both good and bad), ensure safety, teach us about sharing our summer with a community of 20-50 college missionaries, introduce us to the house and our daily schedule, and so on. I received affirmation at times and at other times, more questions about the homeless and community life. Honestly, community life involves struggle. When I first got here I wanted to form deep friendships with all 50-some missionaries here. In reality, I will hopefully form good friendships with just a few. By the time you read this, the YOS (Year of Service) missionaries are on their way home; the SOS missionaries will have one month to live solely with one another and discover themselves more as they grow with each other. Discovering yourself isn’t easy: I’ve seen a lot of times here where I’ve been mean to other people or in various other forms not as Jesus wants me to be. I’ve seen my vulnerable side, a side I don’t readily want to see myself (though it helps to grow in holiness), and I’ve also been reaffirmed in my goodness, all thanks to this community.
On the streets, I’ve received a lot of wake-up calls. Yes, some of our friends have difficult struggles and cannot get a job or find a home because of it. A few aren't receptive towards us, maybe for having a bad day or for not knowing us as friends. But some of these reasons for their current lifestyle or temperaments may include losing their IDs to thieves, illness, separation from their families and friends (many times half the country away), and a loss of virtues that make us want to pursue good things (faith, hope, and love to name a few). What's truly amazing is that most of our friends are receptive in the middle of such hardships, even so much as to openly express their gratitude for our presence and mission. Most of our friends on the streets are friendly, and in most places we go we are recognized as good people worthy of their trust and support. The harder part about this mission that I’m still learning is a combination of availability and detachment. Availability sounds easy; listen to a person’s joys and struggles, be a friend (which I could expand a lot more on, but the I think the following point speaks best for me), and point them out to resources that might be helpful to their journey to a better place. But what availability means in my eyes (referring to ministry) is a willingness to love a person as they are and where they are. Some of our friends are addicted to alcohol or drugs, and there isn’t much they can do to help it after 10, 20, or more years on the streets with not much more to separate them from their hard surroundings. Even without an addiction, some of our friends feel content where they are because they can get away from people, many of whom haven’t been reliable or kind to them in their lives on the streets. Friends of Denver or not, this city (as just one major city in the United States) is what one of my homeless friends and many homeless people call “homeless-proof”: nowhere to stay or go, chased in circles by, anti-camping, anti-sitting, anti-backpack laws (the backpack one isn’t in Denver but can be seen in other places), architecture guaranteed to prevent people from lying down or remaining in one place for long periods of time, cameras, police patrols, and so on. I’ve been to Denver two times before, and until our formators pointed out the city’s relationship with the homeless I never had a clue. Some of our friends can’t find just one place to stay consistently or even find consistent sleep at night because of police patrols, gangs, and other homeless looking to steal from or hurt them.
Now, I’ve spoken a lot about most of our friends’ surroundings and possible backgrounds, but what does detachment mean? I’ll admit I thought it sounded bad the first time I heard it: if I’m a missionary to build friendships with the homeless, why would I keep any of my heart or my efforts from them? Not even touching the possibility that some of the homeless may have bad intentions for us or others, it’s very possible that my offer of friendship to many of the people I meet may fall by the wayside; for example, they may not fully appreciate my presence every day (or at all), or I may never see them conquer an addiction, find housing and a job, or reconcile with themselves and other people. Instead of losing all faith and hope over this, and besides tearing me apart internally, it’s better to accept the successes and failures of our ministry as God probably wills them to be and be thankful for God’s work instead of crushed for what could have been. I might meet a friend on a good week who struggles in another week and never see them again, or vice versa. Most importantly, I have to be careful not to put myself or my fellow missionaries in danger by promising things without approval from our formators. This takes a lot of trust and hope in God’s plan for us and for our friends. At the same time and in God's plan, I’ve seen beautiful things happen in these missionaries’ immediate efforts to be available to our friends in time of need or in waiting for better opportunities to be with them in the future.
To end this post, I want to encourage you to look out for those who are marginalized or thought unwell of, be it someone in your family, your community, or even a total stranger, and reach out to them with whatever gifts God has given you—even if it is “so simple” as a smile or a kind greeting, because our honest efforts to give as best as we can with God’s gifts to us has converted many people before, no matter how small or unseeming we may think our gifts are. To receive affirmation of this, just look to the lives of the Saints! You have all been so generous to me and to Christ in the City, and I want to give you my best efforts through this blog and my best prayers here so as to return my share to you in the mission we share this summer. God bless you all and please know of my prayers for you! Please remember myself, my fellow missionaries/volunteers/donors & mission leaders, and the poor we serve through Christ in the City in your prayers as well!
On the streets, I’ve received a lot of wake-up calls. Yes, some of our friends have difficult struggles and cannot get a job or find a home because of it. A few aren't receptive towards us, maybe for having a bad day or for not knowing us as friends. But some of these reasons for their current lifestyle or temperaments may include losing their IDs to thieves, illness, separation from their families and friends (many times half the country away), and a loss of virtues that make us want to pursue good things (faith, hope, and love to name a few). What's truly amazing is that most of our friends are receptive in the middle of such hardships, even so much as to openly express their gratitude for our presence and mission. Most of our friends on the streets are friendly, and in most places we go we are recognized as good people worthy of their trust and support. The harder part about this mission that I’m still learning is a combination of availability and detachment. Availability sounds easy; listen to a person’s joys and struggles, be a friend (which I could expand a lot more on, but the I think the following point speaks best for me), and point them out to resources that might be helpful to their journey to a better place. But what availability means in my eyes (referring to ministry) is a willingness to love a person as they are and where they are. Some of our friends are addicted to alcohol or drugs, and there isn’t much they can do to help it after 10, 20, or more years on the streets with not much more to separate them from their hard surroundings. Even without an addiction, some of our friends feel content where they are because they can get away from people, many of whom haven’t been reliable or kind to them in their lives on the streets. Friends of Denver or not, this city (as just one major city in the United States) is what one of my homeless friends and many homeless people call “homeless-proof”: nowhere to stay or go, chased in circles by, anti-camping, anti-sitting, anti-backpack laws (the backpack one isn’t in Denver but can be seen in other places), architecture guaranteed to prevent people from lying down or remaining in one place for long periods of time, cameras, police patrols, and so on. I’ve been to Denver two times before, and until our formators pointed out the city’s relationship with the homeless I never had a clue. Some of our friends can’t find just one place to stay consistently or even find consistent sleep at night because of police patrols, gangs, and other homeless looking to steal from or hurt them.
Now, I’ve spoken a lot about most of our friends’ surroundings and possible backgrounds, but what does detachment mean? I’ll admit I thought it sounded bad the first time I heard it: if I’m a missionary to build friendships with the homeless, why would I keep any of my heart or my efforts from them? Not even touching the possibility that some of the homeless may have bad intentions for us or others, it’s very possible that my offer of friendship to many of the people I meet may fall by the wayside; for example, they may not fully appreciate my presence every day (or at all), or I may never see them conquer an addiction, find housing and a job, or reconcile with themselves and other people. Instead of losing all faith and hope over this, and besides tearing me apart internally, it’s better to accept the successes and failures of our ministry as God probably wills them to be and be thankful for God’s work instead of crushed for what could have been. I might meet a friend on a good week who struggles in another week and never see them again, or vice versa. Most importantly, I have to be careful not to put myself or my fellow missionaries in danger by promising things without approval from our formators. This takes a lot of trust and hope in God’s plan for us and for our friends. At the same time and in God's plan, I’ve seen beautiful things happen in these missionaries’ immediate efforts to be available to our friends in time of need or in waiting for better opportunities to be with them in the future.
To end this post, I want to encourage you to look out for those who are marginalized or thought unwell of, be it someone in your family, your community, or even a total stranger, and reach out to them with whatever gifts God has given you—even if it is “so simple” as a smile or a kind greeting, because our honest efforts to give as best as we can with God’s gifts to us has converted many people before, no matter how small or unseeming we may think our gifts are. To receive affirmation of this, just look to the lives of the Saints! You have all been so generous to me and to Christ in the City, and I want to give you my best efforts through this blog and my best prayers here so as to return my share to you in the mission we share this summer. God bless you all and please know of my prayers for you! Please remember myself, my fellow missionaries/volunteers/donors & mission leaders, and the poor we serve through Christ in the City in your prayers as well!